Where are we seeking Christ?
At conferences… On a stage…In a book…
Yes, we do seek Him…but often through the man with the microphone…leading to expectations and disappointments…
Where is He really?
He is to be found by those who seek Him.
Where are we to seek?
In a church building…surely not says the homeless on the desert African plains…surely not says the underground church of many nations.
In a man, a leader…surely not says the broken, unrighteous, unrepented ministry leader who disappoints a watching world.
In giving presents we cannot afford…surely the credit card companies would disagree.
Where is He really?
I think He may be in the quiet places…in the orphanages where no babies cry because they know they won’t be answered…
I think He may be in the quiet room of a nursing home resident whose family is too busy to come…
I think He may be in the closeness of the moment when baby girl snuggles on mom’s lap…
just
thinking...
Wise men still seek Him
Friday, December 5, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Trust in Him
I remember looking up at the x-rays while the doctor tried to explain the problem and how he needed to fix it. I remember asking does she have to have the surgery...if shes going to live...was the answer... so I handed over my nine week old to a stranger and trusted for her healing...and I had to hand over my nine month old to a stranger again...trusting a surgeon for her healing...but I don't want to do that anymore...i have to trust Him more...I want to trust Him for her healing...He is not a stranger...He is her maker... her creator...and He knows how to heal her...
Psalm 139:13For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
This doctor take so long listening to her chest. The tests are already over and I'm waiting...waiting for the news...she is still listening and I have a growing sick feeling...She pulls out a drawing of a heart and begins to explain how it works...blood first coming in on the right side...breathe...I realize I'm holding my breath...I'm trying to stay in control...she just said no surgery right now...I breathe...those were the sweetest words right then in that moment.
Of course the best words would have been...oops! false alarm...so sorry and we will even refund the copay-haha...but...those words didn't come. Only a description of how our hearts were designed to pump blood through our bodies...her body...and with every single beat blood is leaking where it shouldn't and her valve is missing a part...those were the words I heard...and I was crushed...absolutely crushed.
I can't imagine...no... I can't even remember our lives before her. She is my baby princess...God's gift to us...an example of His grace towards me...such a gift...a baby girl...He wouldn't take away such a grace gift...He is good and His mercy endures forever...He is good and He hears the cries of His people.
Pray for a creative miracle to be done in her heart...please pray...as if it was your child...pray
Psalm 139:13For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
This doctor take so long listening to her chest. The tests are already over and I'm waiting...waiting for the news...she is still listening and I have a growing sick feeling...She pulls out a drawing of a heart and begins to explain how it works...blood first coming in on the right side...breathe...I realize I'm holding my breath...I'm trying to stay in control...she just said no surgery right now...I breathe...those were the sweetest words right then in that moment.
Of course the best words would have been...oops! false alarm...so sorry and we will even refund the copay-haha...but...those words didn't come. Only a description of how our hearts were designed to pump blood through our bodies...her body...and with every single beat blood is leaking where it shouldn't and her valve is missing a part...those were the words I heard...and I was crushed...absolutely crushed.
I can't imagine...no... I can't even remember our lives before her. She is my baby princess...God's gift to us...an example of His grace towards me...such a gift...a baby girl...He wouldn't take away such a grace gift...He is good and His mercy endures forever...He is good and He hears the cries of His people.
Pray for a creative miracle to be done in her heart...please pray...as if it was your child...pray
a heavy heart...
doctor's offices are all alike...a long rectangle with loud paper...and the waiting, and waiting.
you think once your name is called your on your way...but no...you wait in here, this small, cold room with one chair and that loud paper on the rectangle. this all seems trivial in hindsight but these memories I have, every moment I remember in these rooms...these rooms i have grown to dislike sooo much...always the deliverer of news i don't want to hear...moments i don't want to know...
these rooms, if they could speak, would share the joyous news of an expectant mom and the test results that shows remission in an otherwise healthy person...the positive is easily shared and rejoiced in...but these rooms, if they could speak, would also share sorrows, sobs, and confusion. i imagine the walls groan with news waiting to be released...or forgotten...
sometimes I am heavy with sorrow and wish to release news with groans and loud sobs of confusion...and then He comes near, I feel Him near and He whispers come... come to me... and so I've been hiding...hiding in Him. not sure what to say or not say, share or not, but at least I'm in Him.
you think once your name is called your on your way...but no...you wait in here, this small, cold room with one chair and that loud paper on the rectangle. this all seems trivial in hindsight but these memories I have, every moment I remember in these rooms...these rooms i have grown to dislike sooo much...always the deliverer of news i don't want to hear...moments i don't want to know...
these rooms, if they could speak, would share the joyous news of an expectant mom and the test results that shows remission in an otherwise healthy person...the positive is easily shared and rejoiced in...but these rooms, if they could speak, would also share sorrows, sobs, and confusion. i imagine the walls groan with news waiting to be released...or forgotten...
sometimes I am heavy with sorrow and wish to release news with groans and loud sobs of confusion...and then He comes near, I feel Him near and He whispers come... come to me... and so I've been hiding...hiding in Him. not sure what to say or not say, share or not, but at least I'm in Him.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Do you pray?
One of my children was diagnosed with asthma as an infant. So he has been through allot of tight chests, shots of steroids, and... you get the idea. He has been on meds for a long time to assist in "managing" his asthma. I guess you could say we've managed it fairly well. Until this year.
Now he plays football and during a game it is not unusual for him to need his albuturol inhaler MANY times. He hates it. It slows him down and that frustrates him because he is in it to win it if you football fans know what I mean. Last Thursday night, as the game was starting, one of his coaches realized they didn't have the inhaler. (Coach normally carries it in his pocket because it's needed so much during the games.) It had been left in the locker room at school. I made a dash for the school after searching my purse for an extra inhaler. I always carry an extra inhaler! But it wasn't there...I was frustrated...no, I was mad! I was mad it had been left behind and I was really mad he needed it at all! So as I was frantically searching my purse I was rebuking that asthma. And as I was driving to get the inhaler I had my hand on my son's picture and I was speaking God's word over him. I was speaking air into his lungs, God's breath to keep them open and healthy. I must testify that y'all missed the game of the season! He dominated...he played amazing. I can't tell you how happy I am for him. However, I must give God all the praise and thanks for answering my prayers. For the first time all season, he didn't need his inhaler AT ALL! The coach kept asking and he kept telling him "No, I don't need it". He played hard!! But he never had any asthma! Afterwards he told me he thought "wow, this is what it feels like to be a normal kid", and "mom, I never even got tired". Please pray that this would continue and that his struggle with this disease is over in Jesus name!! AMEN!!!!
Now he plays football and during a game it is not unusual for him to need his albuturol inhaler MANY times. He hates it. It slows him down and that frustrates him because he is in it to win it if you football fans know what I mean. Last Thursday night, as the game was starting, one of his coaches realized they didn't have the inhaler. (Coach normally carries it in his pocket because it's needed so much during the games.) It had been left in the locker room at school. I made a dash for the school after searching my purse for an extra inhaler. I always carry an extra inhaler! But it wasn't there...I was frustrated...no, I was mad! I was mad it had been left behind and I was really mad he needed it at all! So as I was frantically searching my purse I was rebuking that asthma. And as I was driving to get the inhaler I had my hand on my son's picture and I was speaking God's word over him. I was speaking air into his lungs, God's breath to keep them open and healthy. I must testify that y'all missed the game of the season! He dominated...he played amazing. I can't tell you how happy I am for him. However, I must give God all the praise and thanks for answering my prayers. For the first time all season, he didn't need his inhaler AT ALL! The coach kept asking and he kept telling him "No, I don't need it". He played hard!! But he never had any asthma! Afterwards he told me he thought "wow, this is what it feels like to be a normal kid", and "mom, I never even got tired". Please pray that this would continue and that his struggle with this disease is over in Jesus name!! AMEN!!!!
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